Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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