her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
