On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
