haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
