do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize
