ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
