Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I am one with the molecules
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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