im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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