so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
