Duck Duck Cougar?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
