: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Floor bacon is actually really good
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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