i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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