Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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