Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i barfeds in our rink
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Panties = found
Randomize