is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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