So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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