My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
