I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
