how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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