dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
