come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
