Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
