I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
