I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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