i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
