OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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