How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
