Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
