She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
