she was so not down for the gang bang
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize