What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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