Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize