are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
