Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm going to jail i love you
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize