Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
