i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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