ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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