he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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