Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
