it hurts more in the daytime
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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