Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize