I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
