There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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