Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
