i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
