How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
