so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
