a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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