Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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