All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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