Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Randomize