Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
