put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
