I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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