I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
we're making bets on your personal life
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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