I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
