awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
birth control should be required to get into college
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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