i wish my penis had a tongue
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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