Non-Jews are for practice
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
third nipple confirmed
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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