if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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