i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize