Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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