i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
His nipple licking is glorious
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