I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
