Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Of course I have a pirate flag
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Randomize
