Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
love makes seman taste better
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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