white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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