my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
