so explain again why im purple
no
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
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