Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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