i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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