hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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