You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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