we have pet lesbian snakes
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
