i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
