thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
