at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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